You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
