Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
