there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize