No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
