I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
