we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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