I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
