Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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