There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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