Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
