Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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