I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
