If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
