You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
