Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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