guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
nutella sex= disaster
No I am not eating basil off your cock
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
