if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
