fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
