hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I puked a lego.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
