is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
