Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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