Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
