ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
