After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
