i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
where are my pants?
in the oven.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
