just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
