naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Randomize
