I'm lost and stupid without you.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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