What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
