what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
A bitchslap is in order.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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