i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
