You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
