Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
