I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
