There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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