Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Also, beer. Big fan.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Randomize
