dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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