she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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