dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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