it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
