Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
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