stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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