I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
