i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
