Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It was like giving head to a cactus.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
