remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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