all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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