yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
