Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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