guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I understand Curling. That high.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize