No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
