Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
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Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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