i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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