The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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