I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
bring money and cleavage
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
