My first STD was from a foam party
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
