he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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