Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
