took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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