I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
