My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
as a side note pls kill me
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