quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He felt like a one man threesome
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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