As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
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He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
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I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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